Oct 28 2008
What is Your Life All About
Looking back, I feel like I’ve spent most of my life just trying to stay afloat. Oh sure, I kept looking for the avenue where I fit in, where I was supposed to be, but always settled. What I mean by “settled” is that I took jobs that would bring in the living wage. Doesn’t sound so bad does it? It’s what most people do. But, it always felt like I was sacrificing my true self. I mean I always had to hide away parts (most) of myself in order to fit into the status quo of what ever job environment I was in. And so I just felt stifled most of my life. I wonder is there anyone else out there that felt as I did? I’m sure there was and must also still be now, yet it never felt like it.
I always envied people that had jobs they loved. They went to work everyday, in fact couldn’t wait to get to work, and stayed long hours because they loved it so much. Why wasn’t I able to do that, to find a fit for my own niche?
Yes, I do believe we each have a path to follow. I also believe the path has many side paths. And, I’m getting smarter as I get older. At a younger age it seemed I had forever to figure it all out. Now at 55, I don’t feel I have the luxury of dallying any more. I don’t want to waste this lifetime. Life seems too hard to have to come back over and over to accomplish the same ends. Mostly my life as I see it, has been a search for the truth. Not an easy thing to decipher here on planet earth. Yet, I’ve had experiences that given be some certainties. This is what I know for sure:
* We all form some sort of addiction that gets us through life. (For some the addiction is as simple as their religious beliefs that they can’t or won’t ask questions of. Or for others it could be as big as a drug addiction or sexual addiction).
* There is life after death. (I’ve left my body, had my mother come back from the dead to ask my forgiveness, visited my dead father)
* We exist in some kind of formula of reincarnation. (after a lot of contemplation, it’s the only thing that makes sense to me. What God lets one person be a blond, beautiful rich singing star and another person be a starving, raped child in an African country with death all around her and give them each only one life?)
* Our lives have purpose. ( Not what you think. I don’t think our purpose is to be as “good” as we can and then go to heaven. I see us more as like the nerves in our fingers. As if we were God’s finger nerves. I know that sounds funny. But, I think we are experiencing life as God is not able to and he/she benefits and becomes even more by our experiences. I think we agree to a certain path and to experience certain things before we enter a life. We are here as much for God’s benefit as for our own. How you experience and how you think and react to a situation is different than any other person, ever).
Well, because I’m still here (although I’ve had some near misses) I must still have more to do, more to experience and more to figure out. Oh, and I am doing more of what I love to do every day. I know now that what you love is what you need to be pursuing in life as it is the clues that we often ignore. Most importantly, we need to find confidence that we won’t starve to death or become homeless by following what we love. Oh, and doesn’t it seem as though there is more than one thing to follow that you love? So, maybe there’s more than one choice for a career that will work for each of us. We may love to sing, but never have that unique voice that will make us a star, yet we can find a career singing and still make a living. Or we may also love art or science and find careers in those areas that we love. I didn’t have to be a secretary all my life, but what if that experience and learning that I didn’t have to do that was what I agreed to do before I came into this life. Nothing is simple, is it?
Just remember, there are sign posts all along the way. If may feel like we are just plunked down here with no guide book, but it’s not true. We just need to be open to them, look around and they will appear.
